and now i still cant get it off of my mind.
anyw joey didnt come to school today.
cos she couldnt walk! poor thing, get well soon girl!^^
we all quickly put our bags outside the hall, got changed and went down to eat.
we only had 15 mins to eat so we just rushed.
came up and wore our knee pads and shoes.
went down to the parade square to warm up and do foot works.
sarah, hui tien, chantelle, joey, adeline and xinping came to pray with us (:
jogged 2 rounds then pao qiu, then setting.
after awhile, went up to the hall, to the stage.
there, the team talked about what we wanted to achieve from this match.
AND DAMN ME. I SAID I WANTED TO NOT BE GAN JIONG. THEN FUCKIT THE MOMENT I STEPPED INTO THE COURT MY HEART WAS BEATING LIKE SHIT.
anyw did mild stretching one last time then went out to the court to set.
after setting we da fang.
oh yea and i partner jing yi today.
she's awesome, i love her spiking.
during free spike i was only able to spike like 2 our three balls.
one of which was like shit.
then for service i could only serve one time.
the main six played for the first set.
i didnt think at all that i was able to play.
I AM SO GRATEFUL AND HAPPY THAT I GOT TO PLAY THE SECOND SET.
but i'm fucking angry with myself for not cherishing the opportunity given to me D:<
what's more pissing was that i was able to serve the ball over the net before and after the match.
but why the fuck couldnt i during the match.
DEAR GOD PLEASE HELP ME TO OVERCOME MY NERVOUSNESS, ANXIETY AND FEAR DURING ANY VOLLEYBALL MATCHES. HELP ME TO GET RID OF THIS BAD HABIT OF MINE. AMEN.
although i know this is too late and kinda useless, i wanna apologise to the team.
i lost 3 freaking points just because i was too gan jiong and i anyhow play.
LEJIE FREAKIN SPIKED THE BLOODY BALL DOWN!
and jingyi, she blocked very well!
huimin and alex are great, they're the heart of the team, without them we're lost (:
the team's so amazing, so i'm so sorry for pulling you guys down D:
anyw after the match coach asked us to fa qiu.
i'm sorry i didnt bescribe much or if i missed abything, cos dunno what happened to stupid blogger i publish the post then half of my post gone!
i cant rmb what i typed so now is just what i rmb, which is very little.
anyw JIAYOU TEAMMIES FOR TMR'S MATCH :D
i don't think i'll play tmr, but if i do, i MUST conquer that fear and nervousness.
help.
'first take some belly breaths to calm yourself to down and to center yourself in the now rather than some negative vision of a possible future. Then, when your breathing is nice, deep and calm visualize how well an upcoming match or competition will turn out.'
'Nervousness and insecurities are like our minds tricking us into thinking there is danger when there isn't. This gives us tremendous control over our insecurities. Instead of thinking 'what if?' we learn to think 'So what!' Most performers (speakers, singers, etc.) feel their performance isn't up to par if they don't have significant nervousness beforehand. It's what gives them a dramatic edge. Even their mistakes are entertaining. No one sees your mistakes like you do.'
jaNAkOh~ xJANAKOH's
